I'm Bad At Titles, Just Know That Now.

(does anyone else feel that the pressure to make this first post good is excruciating?

is it just me?

is it weird that i said that?

i'm almost regretting this whole one-sided conversation we just had.

oh well.)

Hi. I can't tell you my name. Even if I did, you probably wouldn't recognize it, but I'm okay with that. I've gone through two and a half years of high school, and the only thing I've learned is how to be okay with things like that. And really, I'm okay with it.

But I'm not okay with regret. I'm not okay with thinking of what could be. I'm definitely not okay with turning around and crashing under pressure. And, that's why I've pledged to myself that I will no longer be taking any U turns.

I might turn left,

and I might turn right,

but there will be no turning around.

Because I owe it to myself to move forward. I owe it to myself to love me, and keep going. I owe it to myself to fix my mistakes, but not let that lose sight of who I am. I owe it to myself to go straight, because I don't want to turn back to my past, I don't live there anymore. There's a reason it's behind me.

I'm sitting here at my computer deleting half of the things I've written because the clouded memories are becoming more clear. I'm remembering him at the park, and her text messages. I'm remembering my first cell phone, and how long my mom's hair used to be. I'm remembering that day in California when you said I was wrong, and I cried, because I knew I was right. I'm remembering the lies. I'm remembering the truth, but then I remember the lies again and it's like there was no truth. I remember playing Charmed, but I can't remember if I was forced to be Prue, Piper, or Phoebe. I'm remembering the dark. I'm remembering the confusion, I'm remembering the hatred, I'm remembering it all and it's taking everything in me not to shut down the computer, go to sleep, and forget this whole blog.

I put my head down to the keys to let my fingers tell the truth...

Darling, it's okay, there are no U turns in Paris...

Darling, it's okay, there are no U turns in Paris...

Darling, it's okay, there are no U turns in Paris...

Darling, you're okay, you don't have to take any U turns in Paris.

I think I'm ready to press publish now.