The rant I actually posted.

Sometimes, I think life is a ditch. A dark ditch, and face it, you're afraid of the dark. Now, the only way out is up, but it takes you forever to figure that out. You dig everywhere. To the left, the right, sometimes you even dig the ditch deeper. You can never get out. Once you finally realize that you need to go up, you try climbing. There's no footholds, so you keep dropping. Sometimes you think you get up, you can even see the light, but you just slink back down again, slowly or quickly, it doesn't matter, because you will end up at the bottom. You're stuck there, until one day God's own hand comes to lift you up. But then it's too late, you're finally with God. And I don't know which is better.

I wish there was something else I could write about. I wish that I could stop thinking like this. I know that no one really cares to read stuff like this over

and over

and over

and over

and over...

but I'm sorry, it's all I feel. It's all I see. It's getting really frustrating.

Right now, my niece and my nephew are "falling asleep" watching Peter Pan, and it's all just too big of a metaphor.

This is stupid. I'm sorry, this is all just so stupid. I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it's stupid.

I know, this is annoying to read. I know, because it's even more annoying to write. But it's simply all I can think of.

I'm never hungry anymore. I literally force myself to eat and then say "Oh gosh, I was just so hungry," to justify it. I'm literally lying to myself.




So this is my rant. Call it a "plea for attention", but I'm simply calling it "survival",