o hai

hi.

Haven't been on here in a while.

"it's fine, i'm over it."

Did I just forget how to write,

or did the writing leave me?

Pretty sure one my most recent posts was about a Hot and Spicy McChicken,

AKA THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE.

hi!

Are you still there?

I swear I'm not crazy!

I swear I'm not crazy.

I SWEAR I'M NOT CRAZY!!!

i SWear I'm nOt crAzY.

I swear I'm not....

whatever. I don't need to prove anything anymore. I never really did, actually. Y'all people don't matter. Sorry, but truly you don't. after graduation i'm done. i'm out. peaccce. (lol whatever we all know i'm staying in utah so i don't have to leave me mum) ESPECIALLY YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. Just leave, and figure out your own shit before you dive into mine. Please, I pay someone to take care of my shit, she's called a therapist, and last time i checked you don't have a pretty paper hanging up on your wall so don't even try to act like you're qualified for my life, cause hun, i'm not even qualified for my life anymore. thanks for never actually caring and just talking. it really helped tear me down.

but let's be honest the problem was never you, it was me. but i'd still really appreciate it if you left.

Hi, are you still reading this? Sorry. I know it's...

maybe I just shouldn't post it.

You know, I've written poems. I've written poems in my absence. But they're not coming up here because there's not enough ink my brain to flow them onto paper, and my fingers aren't quick enough to type up the dreams of my soul.

I just want to take his face and dump it into a bucket of ice and scream "HERE. HERE IS MY LIFE NOW APPRECIATE IT."

I wanna pick her up and shake her and then brainwash her and make her understand the truth.

I want to lay in bed where the hands that touch me aren't cold and the bruises don't hurt as bad.

I want to break that chandelier and have it fall in the middle of the dance floor as everyone stares laughing at me. But it'll be okay because I meant to do it and I'm slowly flipping everyone off. Then I leave with my crew and we're laughing at the one boy who craves attention and the other one who can't look with an honest eye.

I want to immerse my fingers in the middle of a Chick-fil-a sandwich, because they're always really warm.

I want to bite her shoulder because then maybe I'd be satisfied and she'd understand.

It's fine, none of the above makes sense to me either. So I guess I'm really just saying sorry, but I have nothing to apologize for, so just take it as you will. Maybe if I say sorry wrong will be right and I won't be so confused anymore.