tbt

I remember sophomore year. Lol.

I remember pushing that kid to the ground on the playground, then crying when he said he was going to tell my teacher. He never told my teacher.

I remember being so comfortable with everything, it didn't matter what was coming our way. We were there, we were strong, we were invincible.

I remember the highlight of my "theater career". I know it was only a year ago, but no one will ever understand how much it meant to me. I don't like to talk about it.
You: Why?! It was so good!
Me: I just feel cocky talking about it. And there was so much hype about it, it's just annoying sometimes. I mean, we weren't that great.
The truth: I went into such a dark place when it was all over. I can't explain it, but I guess it was just because I was a part of something bigger than myself. I miss it so much.

I remember when he told me that our show "saved his life". I know he was mostly joking with me, but I don't think I've ever received a more powerful compliment.

I remember the ninth grade when we all told Dom we were going to marry him.

I remember when I was intimidated by my best friend. You'd never know it now because we're stuck at the hip, but Sarah and I hated each other.

Lol, still remembering sophomore year.

I remember when I craved going to seminary, and I also remember when I dropped it.

I remember crying after asking him to preference, and being so nervous our entire date I couldn't even function right. Then I remember him saying he had a good night the next day, and a couple weeks after that. I remember being so happy. Then I remembered that he'd also lie to spare my feelings.

I remember making pizza with fresh grown basil, and for some reason it was the yummiest thing.

I remember our Miranda vlogs. Dear heavens, I don't know whether to be embarrassed by those, or laugh out loud at the thought.

Everything in this post feels like it was just yesterday. It's so weird to think that all they are are memories.

I remember Disneyland. Gracious gracious gracious. I could write a book on how I'd do that trip differently

I remember when I thought my cat died and crying for hours, then hearing her meow outside.

I remember the endless webcam pictures. And I also remember the terrible editing I did with the cheesy quotes.

I remember when my first niece was born. I texted my brother "Did you hear Jessica had her baby?" he texted back with "Who is this?"

I remember that I used to type "el oh el" instead of "lol"

I remember American Pie and Saturday chores. I remember asking him if he'd play it one more time for me, and I remember the feeling I got when he said he forgot how.

I remember the wedding. I remember the divorce. I remember the car in the garage and the warnings of her danger. I was too young to understand.

And if you're still reading this, let me go on:
I remember when he had acne.
I remember the night in the garden, when I was genuinely afraid for her.
I remember my mom buying me a soft pretzel to make up for the trauma.
I remember Uncle Kenny.
I remember picking out my outfit so I would look cute for my sleepover with my favorite cousin.
I remember when my favorite cousin moved.
I remember when I began being intimidated by my cousin.
I remember the beach. I remember the waves. I remember the shells.
I remember my mood ring.
I remember hearing that she was pregnant. I remember not understanding why everyone was sad.
I remember popsicles and competitions.
I remember when all I wanted was a Facebook account.
I remember "The Zachs"
I don't remember my baptism.
I don't remember my first cat, Crystal.
I don't remember my cousin Alicia.
I think I remember Grandpa Dodge. I say I do, because my world would break admitting I don't.

This is the only way I can think of ending this post...