I woke up at 6:20 am. Yes, 6:20 am on Monday, March 10, 2014, more
commonly known as a day we don’t have school. I went up and got a drink of
water, even though the internet told me cold water wakes you up. But I had this
really warm taste in my mouth, and I didn’t like it.
I laid back down thinking about how desperately I wanted to go back to
sleep. I wanted to sleep in so badly, even though I slept in until past noon on
Sunday. I cuddled in my blankets and shut my eyes, giving my brain an excuse to
see. I had a million things run through my mind, mainly about how I’m going to
grow into a lonely old woman with eccentric clothes, but then I weighed the
pros and cons and couldn’t decide which was worse. I really like flea markets,
so the eccentric clothes don’t scare me anymore. I thought about how I’m
getting so lonely that the first time I see love I’m going to cling to it and
either 1) chase it away or 2) get in an abusive relationship. Then I hated
myself because that was the truth, so I thought about something else.
I decided to press the replay button on last night. It was so fun for
whatever reason (why didn’t we just go to Beto’s?!) and I loved that feeling so
much.
Valiant: possessing or showing
courage or determination.
(i don’t know if you realize how much that means to me, coming from
you.)
Loyal: giving or showing firm or
constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.
(this is more self proclaimed, but I know you think it too. and if you
don’t that pisses me off, because let’s be honest here.)
Honest: free of deceit and
untruthfulness, sincere.
(sincere, check. free of untruthfulness? do white lies count? i only
ever tell them with reason.)
“He
can’t be a man, cause he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me.”
(my secret philosophy)
On Saturday I was listening to Bohemian Rhapsody, and actually got
scared when they sang “thunder clouds and lightning, very, very frightening!”
If you leave with him, I’m not actually asking to come along. I’m just
asking you’ll stay true to yourself and that you won’t forget me.
True: in accordance with fact or
reality.
(…)
Next thing I know my eyes opened and it was 9:47. It was a very sweet
sleep.
That warm taste in your mouth. I feel you!! And ugh. That literally is the worst when you want to sleep in so desperately. But I'm glad you fell asleep for a little longer!
ReplyDeleteOh!! And that whole part about finding and holding on to love then chasing it away..... I really liked because I feel the same way.
DeleteHuh, this made me think a bit harder, and I really enjoy writing that does that.
ReplyDelete"If you leave with him, I’m not actually asking to come along. I’m just asking you’ll stay true to yourself and that you won’t forget me." Why am I fangirling/almost-crying over this? I don't know, I don't know, but I am.
ReplyDelete